you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I currently don't understand fingers.
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