no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I have fence marks all over my body
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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