So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
