grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
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My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
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