you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
