we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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