1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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