My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
