i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
