I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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