are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This baby is an asshole
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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