i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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