OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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