I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
