i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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