i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You may now shotgun with the bride
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
