Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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