we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I am mentally ready for anal.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
