She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize