I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize