Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
