she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
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You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
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I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
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