Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I have already put on my inside pants.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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