Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
