I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
