I seem to have left my pride at pride
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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