She went from zero to smokin in five shots
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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