Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize