First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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