this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
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If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
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If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
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