ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
