I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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