we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
