I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize