Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
love makes seman taste better
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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