My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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