I wannas sexs uuuuu
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
