Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
The air taste purple.
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