spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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