i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...