then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize