Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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