did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
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