YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize