No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
