TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
