she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
