If that was your dad, he is hot
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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