The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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