Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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