.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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