Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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